goodbye to summer
Like many of us, I am sifting through the remains of a summer almost gone. I kissed darling son #3 goodbye this morning as he jumped in his overstuffed car and set off for what we hope is his final year of undergraduate work. Next week, we will drive in another overstuffed car in another direction and deposit our daughter at a New England boarding school to begin her sophomore year.
All around me, the signs are the same: summer life as we know it is coming to an end. Beach towels are still drying on the backs of chairs, bright red tomatoes are still growing in our garden, and swimmers are still out enjoying the warm Long Island Sound. But I saw the first round of yellow buses meandering through our neighborhood today, back to school summer work has suddenly appeared on our kitchen counters, and the light is waning earlier and earlier in the evening.
And although I am sad to wave so long to the season of flip flops and sundresses, this year I welcome September with open arms, because I can. Because sometime this past summer, I found an appreciation for the predictable, and a gratitude for the present.
These past few years have been anything but predictable, and with the appearance of the Delta variant and others, we have learned to never get too comfortable. So when something is predictable, something we can really count on, we grab it - or at least I do - because I feel comfortable in the predictable. It feels safe. And so much of life is full of surprises:
Surprise, you are having twins! Surprise, you are one credit short of graduating! Surprise, your mother-in-law is moving in! Surprise, you need a root canal! Surprise, your flight has been cancelled!
And whether the surprise is a pleasant one or not, it still knocks us off balance.
It is reassuring to me that September always follows August, and likewise, autumn always follows summer. Taking that a step further, it’s probable, if not predictable, that I will cheat on my diet, that I will start the school year off with a pep talk to my children (followed by a moan from each of them), and that I will write a “welcome to fall” piece for the paper. I will watch the US Open tennis obsessively - with fans in the stands or not - and cheer because FOOTBALL is back (!). So, although I hate to see summer go, I take refuge in the predictable.
But also, in the present. Throughout the summer, I have reminded myself often that if I blink, this time will be gone. The walks to the beach with one or two - or three – dogs, will be no longer. The casual nights on the back porch with friends and a cool breeze, and the moments spent with our children - vanished. So, I tried to just take it all in, wide-eyed, no blinking.
And as I sit at my desk on this first day of September, I stare at dozens of yellow stickies, covered with hastily penned to-do lists. Every part of me wants to think ahead and study my fall calendar, planning and preparing (and some of that is indeed productive and helpful).
But what if we just take it one day at time, like I remind our children in the above-mentioned pep talk? What if it is just about today? Would I enjoy the cooler weather and go for a walk with one, two, or three dogs? Would I wrap myself in a blanket, and still enjoy the back porch?
When I think ahead about all that I want to accomplish this fall, I get overwhelmed. When I sit in the now, and work with the time I have in the present, it is much more doable and enjoyable. It’s like simply enjoying the preseason without worrying about which football teams are going to make it to the Super Bowl. We will get there, and whether you like it or not, so will Tom Brady (predictable).
And finally, I greet September warmly, because I can.
The weight of the last week is on all of us, especially the heartbreaking deaths of 13 servicemen and women. Every time I have seen their pictures flash across the news, I have been struck - oh my gosh, so young! And though they at some point made the decision to commit themselves to our country, to our protection, they had their whole lives ahead of them…and now they do not.
On top of that, we have the 20th anniversary of 9/11 coming up, and we will remember those who lost their lives in the brutal attacks on a beautiful September morning. We will remember where we were and with whom as we watched in horror the scenes being aired on all of the networks. We will feel the heartbreak, again, for those lost, their family members, and for our country.
So, here we are on the precipice of September. And I am fully aware that there are many who will not get to experience the passing of the annual baton - summer to fall - this year. With a heart full of gratitude and reverence, I welcome September with open arms.
Summer time passes differently; it’s slow and relaxed, lazy and peaceful, and we will all miss it. I will miss our children enormously. I will miss the ripe peaches and red tomatoes. I will miss staying up late because there is nothing pressing in the early morning, and I will miss my flip flops and sundresses.
Blink, and it will be gone too, and Thanksgiving and only 25 shopping days left until Christmas will be upon us.
So, for now - today - let’s do this, September. Because we can.