it’s all relative
Last week we spent a few days with young friends with young children, and while we were visiting, we celebrated the 40th birthday of one of our hosts. From my perspective, 40 is young - really young - but I remember the eve of my own 40th (well, kind of…my memory is a little fuzzy at my age), and it was a big deal for me then.
On our second morning, the birthday boy woke up and stretched his new 40-year-old limbs, exclaiming, “I feel so old.” Really?
And It made me think that Albert Einstein must have been on to something over a century ago when he professed that everything is relative, and then went on to explain it in laymen’s terms: if you have three hairs on your head, it’s too little; if you have three hairs in your soup it’s too much.
The way we see the world is dependent on our point of view and context. There is no black or white; there is only perception based on our own experiences and preferences.
In 1995, Victoria Husted Medvec studied Olympians, and she found that silver medalists tended to be unhappy, as their reference point was the gold medalist receiving all of the accolades. The bronze medalists, however, were thrilled as they realized they could have missed the podium all together.
And from my perspective, one far from any podium but as the sister of a swimmer who went to two Olympic Trials, just making the Olympics is something amazing.
Certainly, it’s natural to find order in our world by unintentionally comparing ourselves to others, to those around us. And yet, that can be so limiting and sometimes discouraging.
As a parent, I often find myself telling our children that there will always be someone who is more popular, smarter, prettier, funnier – always - so just settle into your individual path and keep moving forward; take pride in your own unique course.
No matter how much slower or faster or more circuitous it is to those around you.
And at my age, I find it's best to celebrate (not count) the hair on our head and hang out often with wiser, more mature friends.