I dated my husband for many years before we got married, and even so, the first year of marriage was a difficult one. I moved from my one-bedroom apartment into his house, carrying a couple of boxes that contained my meager possessions, and realized quickly that I was missing the important tools that I needed to manage this new life.⁠

I was in graduate school and still felt like a college student, studying and writing at strange hours of the night. He was running a business and was deeply involved with our community. He also had an insatiable need for adventure. We found ourselves at odds.⁠

A wonderful friend a few years my elder invited me over for tea one day. She prepared the most amazing cakes, and with them she offered me some valuable advice in a way that was not preachy; I didn’t feel like she was telling me what to do.⁠

She loved her husband, had raised three amazing children, and enjoyed her very meaningful volunteer work. She had the purpose, balance, and grace that I craved.⁠

We stayed in touch, and over the course of many years, I watched, listened, imitated, and was inspired by this wise friend. She was a wealth of information, but even more than that, she always seemed to handle every situation with grace and love. ⁠

I am pretty sure she didn’t even know, but I leaned on her when I would find myself in a bind in my life, as a newlywed and then as a new parent, and even now as an empty nester. I’ve always asked myself this question:⁠

What would Judy do?⁠

And inevitably, I’ve found the answer.⁠

Now many years later, it’s still my go-to question. How blessed I have been to have Judy and others like her to help me expand my boxes of know-how and inspiration to try and live life with a little more grace and love.⁠